They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
