I want to have your abortion
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize