Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
