i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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