You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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