So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
