Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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