I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
