New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
