Midget sex pt 2 tonight
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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