I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
