You can't motorboat a personality
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
