just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
what day is it and did you see me today?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Randomize
