Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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