wanna go halves on a baby?
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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