we made out on top of his cat.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
