Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
