Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
