nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize