I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
