i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I think we might need a safe word for this...
how does that bad decision feel?
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