I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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