she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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