He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
All I want is dick and wine.
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