The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize