I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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