Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(210): View more from Texas

By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE

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(919): View more from North Carolina

How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?

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(916): View more from California

I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk

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(859): View more from Kentucky

We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong

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(563): View more from Iowa

You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends

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(512): View more from Texas

You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back

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(630): View more from Illinois

I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.

(908): View more from New Jersey

I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???

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