Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
