After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
