I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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