You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
