She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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