I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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