i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize