just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
