you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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