I can tuck mytits in my pants
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize
