This girl is more easily done than said...
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I intend to get homeless drunk
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize