Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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