i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
