I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
