Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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