I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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