New low: just hacked my moms facebook
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize