Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
