i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
