That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
