I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
