No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize