Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
