think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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