I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
