I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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