is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
