This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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