I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
