Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
