Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
