Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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