We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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