I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
