i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
