If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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